That Life Style Show

Monday, 3 August 2020

How to combat imposter syndrome when WFH

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Yes, it's for real and, with many of us working from home, imposter syndrome is on the rise. Here's how to deal with it

Imposter syndrome is defined as a persistent inability to believe that your successes are down to your own abilities. Sounds like you? You’re not alone. One recent survey found a whopping 90% of women in the UK suffer from this, yet only 25% are actually aware of it.

Thanks to the pandemic working from home is the new norm. But in a remote and distributed work environment – feelings of imposter syndrome are even more challenging to tackle. Apparently 74% of companies are planning on permanently shifting to remote and distributed work in the future, so organisations need to ensure they are creating an empowering environment for female employees in this remote world.

As a champion of diversity and female empowerment in the workplace, Asana‘s Terri Burden reveals how remote work can act as a trigger for impostor syndrome, and shares five action points to take on overcoming this feeling.

1. Get clear on expectations

It’s more important than ever to perfect communications between distanced team members. For individuals suffering from imposter syndrome this is particularly challenging, as you’re more likely to avoid asking for help.

To avoid this, you need to get clear on what you need to achieve. But this responsibility not only lies with you, but with your company. According to an Asana survey, only 16% of employees say their company is ‘very effective’ at setting and communicating company-wide goals. This is an issue, as it causes confusion about priorities, a lack of motivation, and even a lack of alignment within teams. From daily to annual targets to those outlined for yourself, your team and your organization – setting goals can provide the clarity you need and ensures you stay focused on the tasks that matter.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others

Focusing on developing your individual strength will be most beneficial for your career progression and your mental health. One person’s strength is another person’s weakness, and accepting that your skill lies elsewhere means you can focus on getting ahead in an area that you excel.

Nonetheless, be sure to seek opportunities outside of your comfort zone. For example, join in with a brainstorm outside of your usual remit. This is a great opportunity to listen in and learn from others, whilst providing value to that group by offering an outsider’s perspective.

Terri Burden, Customer Success Manager at Asana

3. Establish how you want to receive feedback

In the absence of facial cues and non-verbal means of communication, it’s often easy to mistake a simple comment for a harsh critique. To make sure you don’t misinterpret a message over email or otherwise, you need to take the initiative to ask for a quick chat via phone or video call.

On the call, you can gain greater clarity on what the other person meant and more easily verbalise your response. This is also a great opportunity to establish ground rules. While not always possible due to time constraints, you could inform your colleague/ boss that verbal communication is preferred when receiving feedback. This’ll provide you with greater ease of mind and demonstrates your desire to learn and develop.

4. Build confidence for video calls

If you’re struggling with transitioning to video conferencing, you’re not alone. But this form of communication is here to stay. So take some extra steps ahead of the call to make yourself more comfortable. This can be as simple as writing a little script of items you wish to cover or contribute. Or even reach out to a teammate beforehand to check a point you’d like to make. Having this clarity ahead of the video call can make it easier to make your voice be heard.

5, Finally, remember you’re human

As cliche as it sounds, we are all human and mistakes are inevitable. So don’t be afraid to make an error, just be sure to turn it into a learning experience. Applying this insight to your future work can not only be beneficial to yourself, but to your teammates and junior colleagues.

The post How to combat imposter syndrome when WFH appeared first on Marie Claire.

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What to really say to a friend who’s been furloughed or made redundant

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If a friend’s job is under threat does a chat have to be awkward? Not if you can become a good listener

What to really say to a friend who’s been furloughed or made redundant? It’s a chat no one wants on their wishlist. But before any conversation with a friend who’s facing redundancy or being furloughed, remind yourself of the rollercoaster we’ve all been on in the past few months. The worry and anxiety that have come with lockdown will be heightening your friend’s emotions, affecting their ability to cope with further change.

‘Apart from the initial shock of their situation, they may be feeling resentment and anger on top of everything else. Identifying with this is so important,’ says Elaine Carnegie, founder of wellbeing and mental health consultancy Beingworks. ‘Setting a tone of warmth, compassion and understanding is crucial at the start of any conversation. This situation is outside your friend’s control so it’s important to reinforce this and the fact that it’s not their fault and there’s nothing to feel ashamed of.’

**What to really say to a friend who’s been furloughed or made redundant**

1. Pick your location

The environment in which you have this conversation is important. ‘Make some time to meet face to face if you can and choose a place where you can chat freely. Walking in nature is always a good choice. If you’re on Zoom or FaceTime look into the camera so your friend feels like you are focusing entirely on them,’ says Carnegie.

2. Ask and wait

The way we ask questions and wait for responses is so important when it comes to support. ‘The crucial thing is to listen non-judgementally. We all view the world through different lenses so it’s important not to force your judgement and opinion on their situation,’ says Carnegie. ‘You really have no idea how your friend is feeling. Ask the simple open question of ‘How are you?’ but even more important than that is asking again, ‘No, really…how are you?’ And waiting for a response.’ You might get a short reply at the start that doesn’t reflect how they are really feeling, so ask again and encourage them to talk about how they actually feel.

3. Listening skills

Use eye contact and body language to show you’re listening and validate how they are feeling. ‘Don’t try to brush off what they say or try to tell them ‘It will be fine’ etc, which could well make them feel worse. Validate that what they are feeling is normal and completely justified. Using sentences like ‘I can only imagine how difficult this is for you’ and ‘Tell me how you’re feeling’ goes a long way,’ says Carnegie.

Mental health expert Elaine Carnegie (right) with a friend

4. Understanding not responding

‘As human beings we have an in-built desire to ‘fix’ a situation or provide a solution. Whilst this is always done with the best intentions, when others are going through challenges like redundancy, the ‘fix me’ approach isn’t what’s needed. Give them space to be able to open up and process their situation,’ says Carnegie. By doing so they can come up with their own plan, rather than pushing away their feelings or invalidating them. And ask a few questions about their rights and the consultation process, so they can think about questions to raise with their employer.

5. Allow silences

‘Silences make us feel uncomfortable so we feel we need to fill the space. By doing so however we are stopping that person from processing their emotions and thoughts,’ says Carnegie. Silence allows them to continue and to explore their own thinking around the situation. In some circumstances, it can allow space for reflection to really identify what will make them happy and fulfilled in the future. ‘Opportunities can come from change as well,’ advises Carnegie.

6. Encourage new perspectives

By spending this time reflecting on all aspects of their life and career, it may be that your friend is able to see things from a new perspective or identify things they want to change. Getting them to focus on what they can control in the interim while exploring untapped hopes and dreams can be really helpful. Through the anxiety, stress and difficulty, there can be moments of clarity and with that your friend can take comfort – or even get a whole new sense of direction, says Carnegie. Suggest a weekly routine of doing something together, like a regular walk or tennis game, creating an opportunity to keep the conversation going.

The post What to really say to a friend who’s been furloughed or made redundant appeared first on Marie Claire.

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How to negotiate a pay rise during the pandemic

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No matter how bad things are in the world of work, you can and should ask for a better salary if you have a good case to make

Don’t dare ask for that pay increase you’ve been waiting for when the economy’s in a mess? Think again. Gita Trevorrow-Seymour is a leadership and performance coach and the brains behind High Definition You who uses neuroscience-backed techniques to empower people to thrive in their careers. Her advice is to think positive – but do your research before you learn how to negotiate a pay rise.

Trevorrow-Seymour says don’t be put off by challenging economic times. Your company may be extra busy which could mean they need your contribution even more. If you’ve survived a round of layoffs it will make your stock go up. Which means in theory your employers can afford to pay you a bit more. That’s if you can prove what you’re bringing to the company’s situation is of more value than before.

Stick to the language of the business in your pay negotiations. Simply pointing out that you haven’t had a pay review for two years, using words like ‘fair’ and ‘deserve’ and pointing out your ‘extra effort’, will do the exact opposite. What matters, advises Trevorrow-Seymour, is where the business is right now and how you will contribute to its future success.

How to negotiate a pay rise – 5 key factors

1. Investigate the context

Before you start the salary conversation, set up a Google alert for your company to track news in order to be aware of company and management priorities. They may have just landed a great big contract or laid off a layer of senior management. Whatever the case, knowing the facts means you’re able to have a much richer conversation with your manager about the direction the company’s going in, its priorities and the value you’ll add.

2. Do your research

Who is the actual decision maker and what can you do to create a deeper relationship? How well do they know your work or are you solely relying on your manager putting your case forward? Next, research your market. In order to work out your market value get comparisons from similar roles in similar industries, speaking to recruiters and previous managers. Understand what people are valuing right now, the skills that are really important and the value you bring. Show them your updated CV and ask ‘What is my current market value and what do I need to do to improve that number in the next six months?’

Leadership and performance coach Gita Trevorrow-Seymour

3. Present a compelling business case

Create a self-marketing campaign ahead of the company pay review cycle. Ask your clients, stakeholders and managers to email you feedback on the impact you’ve had. Evidence your tangible impact (eg sales) and intangible impact (eg team morale). Elevate your profile by contributing outside of your department, volunteer for employee groups or to mentor an intern or new starter. Remember deserving a pay rise is not about ‘fairness’. Putting in the hours isn’t actually what counts: focus on articulating the results, the outcomes you’ve achieved and will achieve in the future.

4. Ask with conviction

Be brave, state the salary you want. Research shows the gender disparity in salaries is at least in part a result of not asking for the salary we want and instead ask for the amount we think they might pay. Say ‘My market research shows my current value in this role is £X… and I’m currently on £X… how can we bridge this gap?’ Be direct about it, ask quality open questions – and be comfortable in the silence that may follow. And if it’s a no, discuss what else progress could look like, for example, for you to get some training or to have an indirect report so you can start practising your management skills.

5. Don’t use bluff tactics

Be prepared to counter offer with ‘I believe £X is a true representation of the value I’m bringing and will bring’. Or say you’ll go away and think about it. But don’t bluff! Either have another role that will pay you more as a tool for negotiation, or declare you will investigate other opportunities, but don’t pretend you have a better offer in your back pocket or this could backfire. If there’s no pay rise on the table agree that you are happy until another date to revisit it. And then focus your energy on smashing expectations and not begrudging the fact you’ve given it all and ‘they’ haven’t recognised you for it.

The post How to negotiate a pay rise during the pandemic appeared first on Marie Claire.

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The work/life balance lessons we can all learn from lockdown

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Charlotte Philby's trying to keep zen and hold on to the positives of lockdown life but she's pretty angry too

Work/life balance lessons — Getty Images

I miss my old life. I miss a reality where I’m not writing this article, while my four-year-old son screams ‘A FATHER MUST FIGHT FOR THE DIGNITY OF THE SON!’ He’s seen all 72 episodes of Ninjago on a loop over the past five and a half months as I have attempted to edit my third novel, plan my fourth while my second, A Double Life, hits the shelves/websites. All whilst homeschooling three children. Stay with me on this, there are work/life balance lessons coming.

A fragile return to normality

So while I hanker for a return to some semblance of normality, and remain relieved and delighted for businesses finally able to get back, in part, to work, I will not be celebrating. I know I am very lucky. My family is healthy, I still have a job whilst the country finds itself on the brink of the most crushing recession, yet I’m making a vow to myself that I will not forget. I will not forget the great things lockdown have reminded me of – be it the power of community and supporting local business, or the majesty of the natural world.

Charlotte with her three children

And much as I miss being distracted from the truth of how fragile and how precious life, and our world, is, I also appreciate the wake-up. I won’t squander the lessons I have learnt. And I refuse to be pulled back into a world that hasn’t worked for a long time, without asking myself what I want to take forward with me into whatever place it is that we finally emerge.

In the madness of the past few months it seems I’ve forgotten where one naturally draws breath. Giving myself a moment to reflect, I would say that I should have learnt by now – after all, I am used to working in chaos. I wrote my first novel, Part of the Family, with only part-time childcare and several other jobs; when I started A Double Life – a contemporary thriller set between London and Moscow – my youngest still wasn’t in school.

What I miss most

At the time, I thought working between drop-offs and pick-ups was a challenge but compared to our current situation, I see my life as it was might have been pretty breezy. On further reflection, though, having more than three seconds to myself each day is not all that I miss from a pre-Covid world.

I miss taking the kids to the park and watching them scramble freely over other children on a climbing frame. I’d love to see my friends minus the weird configurations no-one seems quite able to comprehend. And I sort of miss hugging. Actually I’m quite pleased to be without that moment when you see a sort-of-friend and have a split second to calculate whether they’re going in for a kiss, two kisses, a hug or a handshake. Inevitably you end up licking their eye or possibly punching them in the groin. Don’t miss that.

Charlotte’s children practising social distancing

But above all, what I miss is an innate belief in the fragile structures we rely on to prop up an otherwise chaotic universe. As a journalist who writes untraditional spy novels-cum-domestic thrillers, it is my job to question the motives and trustworthiness of people and institutions. Yet even I now find myself in a state of disbelief. I miss the at least partial hope that in such a time of national crisis the government might show something other than total contempt for the nation it was elected to serve.

Time for real change

And with a new poll claiming that only 6% of the UK public want to go back to pre-pandemic times, it’s seems the mood is definitely changing as we head out of lockdown. The rampant inequalities exacerbated by the pandemic have left 49% of those surveyed determined to see big changes in the way society is run.

It seems it’s not just me that’s missed the naïve hope that we could rely on those in charge to make decisions, if not from a place of total competence – I’m not that naive – then at least with the slightest deference to science or ethics. Or, hey, the basic needs of its citizens. A YouGov poll revealed 31% of people surveyed want to see big changes in the way the economy is run. It also showed 44% were pessimistic when they thought about the future of the economy, while only 27% were optimistic.

Just another day in the WFH office

So, yes, I’m not alone when I say I miss imagining the government might prioritise the institutions that provide a basic life-line for so many. That wouldn’t it be refreshing to have politicians determined to get a generation of children back to school, instead of being stuck with ones who deem the re-opening of horse-racing and theme parks more important.

‘We can’t return to normal, because the normal we had was precisely the problem’ a message that went viral as the world locked down and it’s a lesson we must never forget.

* A Double Life by Charlotte Philby is published by Borough Press and on sale now

The post The work/life balance lessons we can all learn from lockdown appeared first on Marie Claire.

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Best Blusher 2020: Tips From Princess Diana’s Make-up Artist

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The best blusher does more than just warm up your complexion.

It can carve out cheekbones you never knew you had and make you look like you just emerged from a wind-whipped walk with a suggestive flush.

No wonder it’s known as the ‘magic wand of make-up.’

‘Blusher makes you feel more pulled together,’ says Mary Greenwell, make-up ambassador for Chanel, which is celebrating the 40th anniversary of its iconic Joues Contraste blushers.

‘I never did Princess Diana’s make-up without adding a bit of blush to her face. It instantly made her look fresher. A little bit of concealer to disguise any darkness under your eyes and the right colour blush goes a long way.’

Mary Greenwell, Chanel make-up ambassador and Royal make-up artist, in action

But the importance of the finding the right colour, texture and placement of your blusher should never be underestimated.

Here’s everything you need to know…

How To Apply Blusher

‘I like blush to be quite high on the cheeks for a sunkissed glow,’ says Greenwell.

‘Placing it slightly above your cheekbones looks like it’s part of your skin rather than like you’re wearing make-up. It also gives them lift – which is another reason I wouldn’t put blush on the apples of your cheeks as it draws the cheekbones down.’

That said, blusher can also be versatile so don’t shy away from experimenting.

Case in point: ‘Back in the Eighties,we created a really fun look for the designer Romeo Gigli, where we did a whole face just with blush: lips, cheeks, and eyes all with the same colour,’ explains Greenwell.

‘It was monochromatic colour all over the face and so beautiful. Blush can also be a look on its own – no mascara, no lip colour, but an amazing reddish glow down the side of the face, up into the temples.’

Another favourite trick of Greenwell’s is to mix two blush shades together: apricot pink on the cheekbones and a paler shade as a highlighting powder for a more graphic finish.

Also worth noting: ‘If you’re using a cream bronzer like Chanel’s Les Beiges Healthy Glow Bronzing Cream, you would use that under blush,’ she continues.

‘Powders always go on last, no matter what. Besides, powder will set the rest of your make-up – foundation, concealer etc – for the night.’

What Is The Best Natural-Looking Blush?

The best cream blusher and powder blusher both have their benefits.

If you want your complexion to look particularly juicy and dewy, then a cream is your best choice. The blendable nature of a cream blusher also makes it ideal for ageing skin.

Powders on the other hand are great for mopping up excess oil and for giving your make-up legs.

‘Powder versions are easier to control,’ says Greenwell. ‘The colour will last literally twice as long, even in humidity.’

Her top tip is to choose a powder blusher that’s incredibly finely milled – ‘that way it is sheer enough to look like cream blush’.

Best Blusher For Fair Skin: Pink Blusher

Pale pink blusher is the closest thing we’ve seen to an actual honest flush on fair skin. Why? It’s almost the same colour as the inside of your lip, which is a good indicator of shade accuracy.

‘Look for a pink shade with a golden undertone to it as it can be used as a bronzer whenever you want to warm up pale skin,’ says Greenwell, who loves Chanel’s Joues Contraste Powder Blush in Elegance.

FALL-WINTER 2020/21 HAUTE COUTURE COLLECTION Makeup CHANEL – Lucia Pica © CHANEL 2020

Our Pick:

Chanel Joues Contraste Powder Blush in Elegance, £35, Feelunique

best blusher,

Buy it now

Bobbi Brown Blush in Pretty Pink, £21, Lookfantastic

best blusher, Bobbi Brown Blush in Pretty Pink, £21, Lookfantastic

Buy it now

Milk Make-up Lip + Cheek in Swish, £23, Cult Beauty

best blusher, Milk Make-up Lip + Cheek in Swish, £23, Cult Beauty

Buy it now

Best Blusher For Medium Skin: Rose-Pink

If pale pink is flattering on pale skin, then it follows that medium pink is flattering on medium skin. Due to its green or yellow undertones, anything too warm can make medium skin look sallow. Cool rose-pink and raspberry shades make it quietly glow-y.

Our Pick:

Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush In Luminous Flush, £38, Cult Beauty

Buy it now

Benefit Bene Tint Rose Tinted Lip & Cheek Stain, £25.50, Lookfantastic

Buy it now

Clinique Chubby Stick Cheek Colour Balm in Roly Poly Rosy, £21, Lookfantastic

best blusher, Clinique Chubby Stick Cheek Colour Balm in Roly Poly Rosy, £21, Lookfantastic

Buy it now

Best Blusher For Dark Skin: Deep Berry or Hot Coral

Deep berry, plum and hot coral shades may look intense in the pan. But on dark skin, they’re actually pretty neutral.

‘You need to choose a heavily pigmented blush to pack a bit more punch,’ says Greenwell. ‘And avoid going too cool. The ideal shade will have golden undertones to it – anything blue-based clashes with the warmth of dark skin and is going to look ashy.’

CRUISE 2020/21 COLLECTION « Balade en Méditerranée » Makeup CHANEL – Lucia Pica © CHANEL 2020

Our Pick:

Chanel Limited Edition Joues Contraste Powder Blush in Rouge Profond, £36

Buy it now

Fenty Cheeks Out Freestyle Cream Blush in Daiquiri Dip, £19, Harvey Nichols

best blusher, Fenty Cheeks Out Freestyle Cream Blush in Daiquiri Dip, £19, Harvey Nichols

Buy it now

Yves Saint Laurent Couture Blush in Plum Smoking, £31.05, Lookfantastic

best blusher, Yves Saint Laurent Couture Blush in Plum Smoking, £31.05, Lookfantastic

Buy it now

Best Blusher For All Skin Tones: Peach Blusher

The most universally flattering shade that looks incredible on everyone? Peach.

This is because it basically contains every undertone known to man: pink, orange, red and yellow. When combined, its warmth satisfies those in both the bronzer and blusher camps.

Our Pick:

Nars Orgasm X Cheek Palette, £36, Lookfantastic

Buy it now

Shiseido Minimalist Whipped Powder Blush in Momoko, £32, Cult Beauty

best blusher, Shiseido Minimalist Whipped Powder Blush in Momoko, £32, Cult Beauty

Buy it now

Too Faced Blush in Papa Don’t Peach, £25, Lookfantastic

best blusher, Too Faced Blush in Papa Don’t Peach, £25, Lookfantastic

Buy it now

Proof that blusher is pure upside – and less tactile than a pinch on the cheeks.

The post Best Blusher 2020: Tips From Princess Diana’s Make-up Artist appeared first on Marie Claire.

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The Queen told Harry and Meghan that they can return to royal life 'whenever they want'

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prince harry meghan markle 1176626135 — Credit: Karwai Tang / Getty

The new Prince Harry and Meghan Markle biography, Finding Freedom, has made a number of claims about everything from the couple’s first date to their relationships with the rest of the royal family.

The book by royal correspondents and journalists Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand explains why the Duke and Duchess of Sussex decided to step down as ‘senior royals’, the real story behind the Meghan tiara drama and why she felt ’emotionally bruised’ after her final royal engagement.

The couple have denied any involvement in the biography, with a spokesperson saying: ‘The Duke and Duchess of Sussex were not interviewed and did not contribute to Finding Freedom. This book is based on the authors’ own experiences as members of the royal press corps and their own independent reporting.’

However, it has already tipped to become a bestseller when it hits shelves on 11th August.

Now, an extract reveals that the Queen offered Harry and Meghan the chance to return to the royal family should the ever choose to. During a lunch with his grandmother, Harry was told that the monarch gave him her blessing and informed him that if he wanted to return to royal duties in the future the door would be left open.

In an excerpt from The Times, the authors report: ‘As they tucked into a roast lunch, the Queen made it clear to Harry that she would always support him in whatever he decided to do. Though a 12-month trial period had already been promised to Harry earlier in the year, their conversation was also a reminder that should he and Meghan ever want to return to their roles, they were always welcome.’

An insider also claimed: ‘It’s been made very clear they can come back whenever they want, when they’re ready.’

The Duke and Duchess are currently living in Los Angeles with their one year old son, Archie Harrison, and it is unclear if and when they’ll return to the UK.

The post The Queen told Harry and Meghan that they can return to royal life 'whenever they want' appeared first on Marie Claire.

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'The Clit Test' is rating female pleasure in film, TV and books - and we're here for it

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I ain’t pressing play unless I see some foreplay...

It’s fair to say that, in 2020, we’re getting better at depicting sex on TV. From Normal People addressing consent through Conall’s mindful, ‘If it hurts or anything, we can stop. It won’t be awkward’, to Marianne before their first sexual encounter, to the showing of a period-induced blood clot during a sex scene in BBC drama I May Destroy You – we’re finally getting some footage of real sex on our screens.

But the truth is, we still have a long way to go. Even though 4 out of 5 women can’t come from penetration alone (clit stimulation is the One when it comes to reaching ‘O’), movie and TV sex scenes continue to place an emphasis on penetration, with too many women orgasming after what is often a minute or two of thrusting.

We all know that this is just not how ‘it’ goes. So to encourage more accurate representations of female pleasure within pop culture, two women have come up with ‘The Clit Test’.

Created by Frances Rayner, 34, from Glasgow and Irene Tortajada, 25, from London, The Clit Test is an online forum that celebrates TV shows, films, books and even music that acknowledge the existence of the clit (which, BTW, wasn’t even fully discovered until 1998) rather than the vagina, as the source of orgasm for at least 80% of people with vulvas.

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Every time you acknowledge that the clit exists you pass the clit test – it's like a Bechdel test for sex scenes. The clit is the primary site of pleasure for at least 80% of people with vulvas but you wouldn't know this from the sex we see on screen. By celebrating the people who are getting it right we hope we'll inspire others. . Share your favourite passes using #clittestpass. . #clittest #clitoris #cliteracy #cliterate #equalpleasure #sexeducation #sexpositivity

A post shared by The Clit Test (@clit.test) on May 20, 2020 at 12:29pm PDT

Speaking to Huffpost UK, Rayner explained the test was created out of frustration, after she was sick and tired of seeing too many TV sex scenes imply that women can always orgasm through penetrative sex.

‘Growing up, I was entirely clueless about my own pleasure because no one had told me about the clitoris. From a young age, I knew about blow jobs, penis in vagina sex and male masturbation, but nothing I consumed taught me how women’s bodies worked beyond periods and pregnancy.’

She continued: ‘This misleading ‘sexual script’ is one of the main reasons women and girls who have sex with men have alarming rates of disappointing, bad or even painful sex.’

According to Rayner and Tortajada, a ‘Clit Test pass’ occurs anytime the clitoris is as much as acknowledged. This could be anything from the mere suggestion of oral sex or fingering, to someone expressing disappointment after a solely penetrative sexual encounter (much more of this, please).

Recent passes have included Olivia Wilde’s teen film, Booksmart, Michaela Coel’s comedy, Chewing Gum and Bernardine Evaristo’s Booker Prize-winning book Girl, Women, Other.

Launching a campaign to coincide with National Orgasm Day last Friday 31^st August, Rayner and Tortajada called on members of the public to share their favourite sex scenes that pass the test, and give a hearty shout out to the creatives who made them possible.

People have been encouraged to share their passes and fails across Twitter and Instagram, using the hashtags #ClitTestPass and #ClitTestFail.

‘In the context of market-driven porn being accessible to children as young as 7, there’s never been a more important time to reset our shared norms around pleasure,’ Rayner told Huffpost.

‘The Clit Test celebrates the people who are getting it right, in the hope we will inspire others.’

The post 'The Clit Test' is rating female pleasure in film, TV and books - and we're here for it appeared first on Marie Claire.

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Gel nail polish picks that'll give you salon-worthy results

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No UV lamps or hefty price tags necessary

Chipped nail polish is up there with our top beauty bug bears (along with dreaded split ends and chapped lips), so gel nail polish has always been our saviour.

But at-home manicures are very high maintenance (and that’s before you consider nail art or an at-home pedicure) and, let’s face it, there aren’t many things that can top the feeling of leaving a salon with a fresh gel manicure.

Except perhaps getting that same salon-worthy gel mani in the comfort of your own home, that is. The beauty gods have sent us several angels in the form of gel nail polish that give us the long-lasting, glossy and super polished looks that we all love so much (without the UV lamps, hefty price tags or the tricky removal process).

Get DIY-ing with the beauty desk’s top picks – and when you’re done here, be sure to read up on how to remove gel nail polish at home.

Best gel nail polish

The best gel nail polish should be high-shine, rich in colour and – probably the most important factor – not chip off within the first day. Brands like Nails Inc, OPI and Sally Hansen all offer great options, and affordable brands like Barry M also have great nail polish formulas on offer.

Nails Inc Gel Effect Polish, £15, Fabled

Durability is the key with this one. With a formulation built to resist those oh-so-irritating chips and nicks, these polishes are sure to last. The cult nail brands’ new range offers up catwalk inspired shades as well as some of their best sellers, ensuring that you’re bang on trend with these beauties. Top up with nail oil to keep the shine for up to 10 days.

Buy now

At home manicure kit

As well as your gel nail polish of choice, there are a few other things worth having in your beauty arsenal if you want your at-home manicure to go the distance:

Base coat

Not only can a good base coat help to prolong the life of your manicure, but it can also protect and treat your natural nails underneath – as is the case with Rimmel’s Nail Nurse 5 in 1 Base Coat. Bonus: this one doubles as a top coat, too.

Top coat

Not only does a good top coat help to prolong the life of your colour of choice (no second day chips!), but this one leaves your nails so shiny you’ll find it hard not to admire them constantly. Look to the brand behind the Queen’s favourite nail polish if you want to recreate a gel effect at home, with Essie’s Gel Setter Top Coat, £8.99, Lookfantastic.

Multiway nail file

Not only is filing the lengths of your nails important, a multiway file can smooth ridges on the surface of your nail, as well as add shine when you’re not wearing polish. Try brushworks’ 6-way Shape and Shine nail file, £2.99 at Lookfantastic.

Cuticle oil

Nail and cuticle oils are a great way to keep your natural nails healthy and soften dry cuticles. We love Sally Hansen’s Vitamin E Nail and Cuticle Oil, £6.95, Boots.

Ready to give your nails a bit of TLC? Keep scrolling for our edit of the best at home gel nail polish purchases. Armed with any of these and you’re set for a foolproof at-home mani. Consider your summer nails sorted.

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Prince William and Kate Middleton share a sweet unseen photo of Prince Louis

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Prince William and Kate Middleton marked Prince Louis‘ birthday by releasing some very cute snaps of the toddler, smiling for the camera and painting rainbows.

The little royal turned two years old in April, and while the coronavirus lockdown was in full force it didn’t stop the family from making a fuss of Louis. William and Kate are thought to have thrown a lovely tea party for their youngest son, with the extended family, including the Queen, Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Prince Harry making virtual appearances throughout the day.

Kate is also likely to have baked the birthday cake for Louis, something she has revealed she does for all her children to celebrate.

It seems that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have since decided to share one more sweet photograph of the little Prince, appearing to have been taken on his birthday three months ago.

The photo, taken at the Cambridge’s Norfolk residence, Anmer Hall, was sent to fans to thank them for their birthday well wishes.

Instagram account @katsroyalletters shared the thoughtful reply from the Duke and Duchess, which includes the unseen picture and a note from the royals reading: ‘The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge appreciated your kind thought in writing to Prince Louis as you did on the occasion of his second birthday.

‘This was greatly appreciated by Their Royal Highnesses who send you their best wishes.’

Kate usually releases photographs of her three little ones to mark their birthdays, and as a keen photographer she usually breaks royal protocol by positioning herself behind the lens.

Well this is just lovely!

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