Saturday, 7 November 2026

The Agenda: November Is Looking Good

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November has a way of making us want to retreat. The days are shorter, the temperatures are dropping, and suddenly an evening on the sofa feels infinitely more appealing than venturing out. But before you surrender entirely to hibernation season, there are plenty of good reasons to brave the cold.

This month, we’re embracing the pleasures of slowing down without standing still. Think thought-provoking talks and immersive soundscapes, countryside escapes, beautiful books worth getting lost in and festive experiences that make the shorter days feel a little brighter.

Consider this your monthly edit of the people, places and experiences deserving of a spot in your diary.

SEE

The best things to see this November

The best things to see this November (Image credit: L-R: Getty, The Fife Arms' Festival of Fashion, Hunter)

The Pelicot Trial

Few trials have sparked a global reckoning quite like that of Gisèle Pelicot, whose extraordinary courage in waiving her right to anonymity forced a long-overdue conversation about rape, consent and the shame so often placed on survivors. Now, her story comes to the stage in The Pelicot Trial, a powerful piece of documentary theatre making its UK premiere at London County Hall. The one-off performance draws on testimonies, court records and psychiatric reports, with a cast including Kate Winslet, Brian Cox, Adjoa Andoh, and Ambika Mod. It will also be live-streamed worldwide for free, and you can catch up on Marie Claire’s coverage of the trial, as well as an exclusive interview with Pelicot’s daughter Caroline Darian.

When: Monday 30 November 2026, 6pm Where: London County Hall, London, and online Watch: Young Vic YouTube channel between 6 -10.30pm GMT on 30 November

The Fife Arms' Festival of Fashion

Fashion heads north this November as The Fife Arms hosts its fourth annual Festival of Fashion. Set against the dramatic backdrop of the Cairngorms, the three-day celebration brings together designers, artists and fashion insiders for conversations spanning style, craftsmanship and Scottish heritage. Highlights include a deep dive into Burberry’s iconic trench coat, a conversation with designer Nicholas Daley and an exploration of Mary, Queen of Scots’ relationship with fashion and power. Consider it a stylish excuse for a Highland escape.

When: Friday 13–Sunday 15 November 2026 Where: The Fife Arms, Aberdeenshire, Scotland,

Hunter Celebrates 170 Years With a Giant Covent Garden Pop-Up

From muddy festival fields to the wardrobes of fashion’s most stylish, Hunter’s iconic Wellies are synonymous with British style. This November, the heritage brand celebrates its 170th anniversary with a giant boot-box pop-up in the heart of Covent Garden. Visitors can step inside the immersive installation to explore Hunter’s history and craftsmanship, alongside a festive shopping experience including exclusive products, personalised gifts and monogramming.

When: 9–25 November 2026 (closed from 5pm on 9 and 10 November for private events) Where: East Piazza, Covent Garden, London, by the Royal Opera House

TASTE

The best things to taste this November

The best things to taste this November (Image credit: L-R: Marrion's Bar, Nomad, Sweeties)

Marrion’s Bar

The best neighbourhood restaurants are the ones you can visit without an occasion in mind. This intimate, low-lit spot is all about the simple pleasures of good food, proper drinks and excellent company. The menu leans into nostalgic comfort food, from devilled crab rarebit and moules frites to pork schnitzel Holstein and tuna melt.

When: Wednesday–Saturday evenings Where: Marrion’s Bar, Hackney, East London

A New York Thanksgiving at NoMad London

Thanksgiving might be an American tradition, but for one night only, Twenty8 NoMad will host a feast in the hotel’s atmospheric former magistrates’ court, complete with classic sides, generous sharing dishes, expertly paired wines and cocktails, and traditional pies for dessert. Expect a swanky take on American comfort food with all the trimmings. An excellent excuse to gather your favourite people around a table, and, for the uninitiated, try pumpkin pie (just like caramel in this writer’s humble opinion).

When: Thursday 26 November 2026 Where: Twenty8 NoMad, NoMad London, 28 Bow Street, Covent Garden

Sweeties Signature Serve

The Champagne Martini, a signature new serve combining Belvedere vodka, Champagne vermouth, poire eau de vie and aloe, is reason enough to make a beeline for Sweeties. Then there’s the floor-to-ceiling windows, a suitably seductive atmosphere and a cocktail menu overseen by acclaimed bartender Sophie Bratt; it’s the kind of place where “just one drink” can easily turn into an entire evening.

When: Throughout November 2026 Where: Sweeties, The Standard, 10 Argyle Street, London

LISTEN

The best things to listen to this November

The best things to listen to this November (Image credit: L-R: EFG Jazz Festival, Getty, Soul x Science)

EFG London Jazz Festival

Forget everything you think you know about jazz. EFG London Jazz Festival returns with ten days of boundary-pushing performances, unexpected collaborations and some of the most exciting voices. Taking over venues across the capital, this year’s programme hops between genres and generations, from Goldie reimagining drum and bass with a live orchestra to acclaimed vocalist Samara Joy and an evening inspired by Haruki Murakami’s legendary Tokyo jazz café.

When: 13–22 November 2026 Where: Various venues across London

Mona Chalabi: How What We Have Shapes Who We Are

What do our possessions say about us? And how much of who we are is shaped by what we can afford? Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, author and illustrator Mona Chalabi takes to the Southbank Centre to explore the complicated relationship between wealth, identity and inequality. Expect a fascinating examination of consumer culture, class and the ways money shapes our understanding of ourselves and each other.

When: Wednesday 18 November 2026, 7.30pm Where: Southbank Centre, London

Soul x Science

What happens when ancient wisdom meets modern neuroscience? Soul x Science brings together leading voices in wellbeing for a day of thought-provoking talks, immersive soundscapes and sensory experiences designed to explore the connection between mind and body. The event moves between conversations on neuroscience, nutrition and nervous system regulation and more experiential sessions, including sound healing, guided meditation and breathwork. There’s even a dedicated Darkness Room, inviting visitors to disconnect from the outside world and tune into their senses.

When: Saturday 14 November 2026, 9am–6.30pm Where: 41 Portland Place, London W1B 1QH

READ

The best things to read in November

The best things to read in November (Image credit: L-R: Choose Love, Liberty's, Penguin)

Choose Love edited by Inua Ellams

Ten writers, including Yomi Adegoke and Nikesh Shukla, tell the stories of people seeking asylum in the UK, examining the kindness, solidarity and human connection that can change lives. A moving counterpoint to the increasingly polarised conversation around migration.

Pre-order now

The Liberty Scarf by Paul Rennie

Instantly recognisable for its intricate prints, rich colours and unmistakably British charm, the Liberty scarf has become a fashion staple passed down through generations. Now, a beautiful new coffee-table book explores the history, artistry and craftsmanship behind one of Liberty’s most enduring design signatures. Written by design historian and vintage scarf collector Paul Rennie, The Liberty Scarf draws on extensive archival research to trace the evolution of the accessory, from its artistic influences to its place in fashion history.

Order now

Alone with a Book by Tessa Hadley

In this elegant collection of essays on creativity, storytelling and the private pleasures of literature, the acclaimed British novelist turns her attention to a lifetime spent reading, exploring the books that shaped her imagination and her relationship with writing.

Order now

EXPERIENCE

The best things to experience this November

The best things to experience this November (Image credit: L-R: ALFI, Beaverbrook x Jimmy Choo, Borde Hills)

Wreath-Making at ALFI

Forget buying your Christmas decorations this year. Why not make your own? Independent Italian restaurant ALFI is bringing a little festive creativity to Spitalfields with a series of hands-on wreath-making workshops. Armed with a glass of prosecco, guests will learn how to create their own Christmas wreath using fresh seasonal foliage, dried oranges, pinecones, ribbons and decorative trimmings, with all materials provided and a finished creation to take home. And because crafting is hungry work, there’s the option to make an afternoon of it with ALFI’s Neapolitan pizzas, fresh pasta and Italian wines afterwards.

When: 15, 21 and 29 November; 5 and 13 December 2026 Where: ALFI, Spitalfields Market, London

Beaverbrook x Jimmy Choo Ice Rink

To celebrate its 30th anniversary, Jimmy Choo is taking over Beaverbrook’s picturesque ice rink in the Surrey Hills, transforming the country house hotel into a pearl-inspired winter wonderland. Drawing inspiration from the fashion house’s Pearls of Wisdom collection, expect twinkling lights, playful design details and a suitably glamorous backdrop for an afternoon on the ice. Beaverbrook’s Skate & Dine experience pairs a 45-minute skating session with a leisurely lunch or dinner at one of the estate’s restaurants.

When: 10 November 2026 – 3 January 2027 Where: Beaverbrook, Surrey Hills

Borde Hill

Sometimes the best way to reset is simply to get outside. Set within 383 acres of historic parkland in West Sussex, Borde Hill is embracing a slower approach to wellbeing, with a new programme that brings together movement, nature and restorative rituals. Expect everything from contemporary yoga and breathwork to functional strength training, alongside woodland walks and hot-and-cold therapy at the estate’s wood-fired Sauna Oreka.

When: Throughout November; Folde Deeper retreat on Saturday 14 November 2026, 10am–6.30pm Where: Borde Hill, Haywards Heath, West Sussex



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Can Oestrogen Really Reverse Skin Ageing? MC Investigates Beauty’s Next Hormonal Frontier

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Hot flushes, night sweats and brain fog aren’t the only unwelcome side effects of perimenopause. Declining oestrogen levels can also accelerate changes in the skin, from collagen loss and wrinkles to a noticeable decline in elasticity. For decades, the beauty industry has focused on finding ways to treat these visible signs of ageing, but what if the answer lies in addressing the hormonal changes behind them? With topical oestrogen emerging as a potential answer to reversing ‘menopause face’, and hormone-based skincare becoming increasingly accessible, Marie Claire investigates whether it really represents a breakthrough in skin ageing—or whether the hype is running ahead of the science.

What Does Oestrogen Actually Do to Your Skin?

Oestrogen is actually a group of three hormones—estradiol, estrone and estriol—produced primarily by the ovaries. While best known for regulating the menstrual cycle and fertility, it also plays a crucial role in skin health. “It prompts fibroblasts, the cells in the deeper layer of the skin, to make collagen and elastin, which give skin its firmness and bounce, and slows the breakdown of the collagen you already have,” explains Dr Toni Burke, Co-founder of Skin Prescribed and Fitzrovia Clinic. “It boosts hyaluronic acid, which keeps skin plump, and helps maintain the barrier that keeps moisture in and irritants out.”

It’s a connection most of us give little thought to until perimenopause, when fluctuating oestrogen levels can contribute to everything from dryness and thinning to acne and pigmentation. Perhaps most significant, however, is the impact on collagen. Research by Dr Mark Brincat at the University of Malta suggests that postmenopausal women lose an average of 2.1 per cent of their skin’s collagen each year.

Can Topical Oestrogen Really Reverse Skin Ageing?

If declining oestrogen contributes to collagen loss, surely replacing it could help slow the visible signs of ageing? It’s a theory gaining traction amongst beauty-focussed creators on social media, and women are increasingly experimenting with topical oestrogen in pursuit of firmer, plumper skin.

There is some science behind the idea. Studies suggest that systemic hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can improve skin hydration, collagen, thickness and elasticity, although the evidence specifically relating to facial skin remains limited. “But not every woman benefits equally,” explains Burke, who points to the established use of vaginal oestrogen alongside systemic HRT as a possible argument for more targeted treatment.

Miriam Martinez Callejas, Chief Clinical Pharmacist and Co-founder of Roseway Labs, highlights a small, double-blind trial involving 54 women, which found that an oestrogen cream improved skin thickness and fine wrinkles more than a hormone-free equivalent over 24 weeks. “That matters because it suggests an effect beyond moisturisation alone,” she explains.

But not everyone is convinced. “When it comes to applying oestrogen to the face rather than the vulvovaginal area, the evidence is very limited and what is available is not particularly strong,” says Dr Emma Craythorne, Consultant Dermatologist and Founder of Klira. More concerningly, she explains that topical oestrogen can be absorbed into the bloodstream, potentially producing systemic effects rather than acting exclusively on the skin.

Unlike conventional skincare ingredients, oestrogen comes with important medical considerations, particularly for women with certain hormone-sensitive cancers or a history of blood clots. And while Martinez Callejas says the intention is for the hormone to act locally, she acknowledges that without testing the finished formulation, its systemic absorption cannot be quantified.

It's why Burke insists that prescribing is never automatic. “We look at each woman’s overall risk, and there are clear reasons we wouldn’t prescribe, such as a history of breast, womb or other oestrogen-sensitive cancer, unexplained vaginal bleeding, or pregnancy.”

The Problem With Putting Vaginal Oestrogen on Your Face

Of course, not everyone has the means to see a private doctor for a bespoke prescription face cream. Instead, a growing number of women are taking matters into their own hands, applying their prescribed vaginal oestrogen cream (typically formulated with estriol, a less potent form of oestrogen) directly to their faces.

But just because something is safe for one part of the body doesn’t mean the same applies elsewhere. “A prescription for vaginal oestrogen is not a prescription for facial rejuvenation,” warns Dr Tiina Meder, cosmetic safety expert and founder of Meder. “There is no established facial dosing or long-term safety protocol for this practice.”

Despite this, dermatologists, particularly in the US, are advocating the practice on Instagram and TikTok, alongside women sharing glowing testimonials about plumper, smoother skin. The problem? Anecdotal results are no substitute for clinical evidence, particularly when we’re dealing with hormones.

There are practical considerations, too. Vaginal oestrogen creams are often thick and occlusive, designed to remain in place rather than sit comfortably beneath make-up. On the face, particularly with frequent application, they may contribute to congestion, milia and breakouts.

Certain skin conditions also warrant extra caution, whether you’re using a dedicated facial oestrogen cream or repurposing a vaginal prescription. “Melasma is the one condition we’re most careful with,” explains Burke. While there’s no conclusive evidence that topical oestrogen causes melasma, hormonal changes combined with UV exposure can exacerbate pigmentation in those already prone to it. Rosacea may also be a concern, with some studies linking systemic HRT to an increased risk of the condition.

And for anyone hoping to get ahead of the ageing process, there’s another important caveat. “There's no evidence it slows ageing in younger women whose oestrogen levels are still normal,” cautions Burke. In fact, research into topical oestrogen outside of perimenopausal and postmenopausal skin is virtually non-existent.

So, Is Topical Oestrogen Actually Worth It?

The growing interest in oestrogen-based skincare is undoubtedly encouraging for women whose needs have historically been overlooked by the beauty industry. But excitement isn’t evidence. Particularly when, as Burke admits, the most noticeable improvements tend to be in hydration and overall skin quality. “Fine lines can look a little less obvious and skin slightly plumper, but we’re not talking about wrinkles disappearing.”

Which begs the question: is it worth experimenting with prescription hormones when the supporting studies remain small and, in some cases, lack adequate controls? Especially when established skincare ingredients such as retinoids, vitamin C and niacinamide already have considerably stronger evidence behind them.

There are also hormone-inspired alternatives. Phytoestrogens, plant-derived compounds found in ingredients such as soy and resveratrol, can interact with oestrogen receptors and may help support collagen production, elasticity and hydration. Products such as Meder Vita-Long Serum, £145, and Lixirskin Night Switch Phytoestrogen & Peptide, £35, use these ingredients to address some of the visible changes associated with menopause, although their cosmetic effects shouldn’t be confused with those of HRT.

“More robust evidence demonstrating meaningful and visible benefits would be needed before I would feel confident recommending topical oestrogen for facial skin,” says Craythorne. Meder agrees, warning against the growing trend for self-experimentation. “Women deserve better research, intelligent formulations and clear explanations of what a product can and cannot do. Menopause should not become another opportunity for fearmongering.”

Burke, however, argues that a lack of evidence doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of benefit. “The estriol studies we do have are encouraging, the biology makes sense, and estriol itself has been used for decades in vaginal treatments.” For her, the answer lies in careful prescribing rather than leaving women to experiment with products intended for entirely different purposes.

It’s also worth remembering that facial ageing involves far more than collagen loss. Changes in facial fat, bone and muscle all contribute to how we look as we get older, none of which can be reversed by a face cream, hormonal or otherwise.

Ultimately, topical oestrogen is an intriguing area of dermatological research, but we’re some way from calling it a breakthrough. Until larger, more rigorous studies establish both its efficacy and long-term safety, claims that it can reverse ‘menopause face’ remain premature. And if you’re considering trying it, a conversation with a doctor specialising in menopause care should come before any prescription cream touches your face.



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Friday, 6 November 2026

'Selfish' Isn’t a Dirty Word: Why Putting Yourself First Could Be One of the Best Things You Do for Your Health

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I was raised by women who only really knew how to be selfless. My mum, a natural-born people-pleaser (and she won’t mind me saying so), has always considered caring for others her superpower. My grandmothers were much the same: they remembered everything, did everything, gave everything, and somehow always left themselves short. Their cups were the last to be filled. And, rather inconveniently, I think I’ve inherited a little of that, too.

Which is why I’ve made it my mission to turn “you’re selfish” into one of the biggest compliments a woman can receive. It started, as many great ideas do, a bottle of wine deep, during a conversation with a friend. We got talking about how readily women apologise for having needs, how uncomfortable we feel saying no, and why putting ourselves first still carries so much stigma. By the end of it, we’d decided it was time to reclaim the word.

Call it wine-fuelled wisdom, but the statistics tell a similar story. A 2026 poll of 2,000 UK women found that more than nine in ten put others’ needs before their own, with nearly two-thirds doing so often. Almost half (48%) struggle to ask for what they want, while around two-thirds worry about seeming demanding or difficult. Clearly, we’ve become so afraid of being called selfish that we’ve forgotten what it means to put ourselves first.

But this is about more than learning to say no to dinner plans without a full-blown apology tour. It’s about what happens when you’ve been led to believe that being “selfish” is practically criminal behaviour, and the toll this can take on your health. With 44% of UK women saying their health has stopped them from doing everything they want to do, it’s worth asking what we’re sacrificing in the process.

So, let’s put selfish back into our vocabulary; not as an insult, but a compliment. Let’s make it one of the most seductive, compelling and respected words in the mental wellbeing conversation. Because being everything to everyone is exhausting - and perhaps a little more selfishness is exactly what the doctor ordered. Experts, take it away.

Why Putting Yourself First Could Be One of the Best Things You Do for Your Health

Why Are Women Still Expected to Put Everyone Else First?

A question that feels as old as time itself: why are women still expected to put everyone else first? And what’s particularly interesting is that, while we might like to think we’ve moved on from the traditional gender roles, the reality for many suggests otherwise. An Ipsos survey found that while just 14% of people believe women should take primary responsibility for childcare, 43% think society still expects them to. In other words, even if our personal attitudes have moved on, societal expectations haven't quite caught up. TDLR: we might believe in equality, but we’re still living with expectations that came before it.

The numbers bear that out, too. ONS data shows women spend an average of 3 hours and 37 minutes a day of unpaid work, compared with 2 hours and 43 minutes for men. That’s nearly an extra hour every day spent on the things that keep everyone else’s lives ticking along.

For Suzy Reading, chartered psychologist specialising in self-advocacy and self-worth, the roots of this run deep.“A good girl, good daughter, good wife, good mother is characterised by selflessness,” she says. “Women are conditioned to be “pliable, amenable, modest, agreeable, accommodating—essentially, to be everything everyone else needs them to be. And while we're told we can now have it all, I’m arguing that this has often translated into being expected to “do it all”.

She sees the consequences of that expectation in her consulting room every day. Women come to her wanting to be better mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends, and colleagues despite already giving everything they have.“Women who are already giving everything they have feel like they have to find it from somewhere to give more,” she says. “Rather than asking whether those demands are reasonable, fair or sustainable, I’m seeing many of my clients turn the pressure back on themselves.” Reading calls it a “pandemic of ‘not enoughness’”.

And it’s not just about societal expectations. It’s about what years of those expectations can make us believe about ourselves, our worth and our right to have needs of our own.

The Psychology Behind Our Need to Please

Before we can reclaim the word selfish, we need to understand why saying no can feel so damn difficult. According to health psychologist Sula Windgassen, the roots of people-pleasing can go much deeper than simply wanting to be liked. “It is generally much more threat-based,” she explains. “The intense need to ensure that people are pleased is often related to a fear of being rejected or negatively affected should others not be happy.”

​Psychologists have a name for this particular people-pleasing trap: self-silencing. Psychologist Dana Jack’s theory explores how gender expectations can teach women to suppress their own needs, thoughts and feelings to keep relationships harmonious. And the research is compelling: a 2021 meta-analysis of 42 studies, involving more than 10,000 people, found a moderate association between self-silencing and depression.

​The effects may not be purely psychological, either. Research has linked emotional suppression with heightened physiological responses to stress. In other words, constantly swallowing what you really think or feel may come at a cost.

Reading explains that people-pleasing can “rupture our relationship with self”, leaving us feeling “lost” and disconnected from our own needs and preferences. Her advice? Ask yourself: If I knew it would be completely acceptable to say no, would I still want to do it? It's a simple way to start separating genuine generosity from the fear of disappointing someone.

The Hidden Health Cost of Always Putting Others First – and the Signs You Shouldn't Ignore

We’re often told that looking after ourselves is a matter of making more time for self-care: get up earlier, book the appointment, whack on the sheet mask, find a moment to “switch off”. These are our “selfish moments”, and while I agree, I can’t help but wonder: what if the problem isn’t that we’re simply not making enough time for ourselves? What if it’s that we’re living in a way that leaves so little room for our needs in the first place?

The experts are clear: being selfless can come with physical costs. Being endlessly accommodating, absorbing other people’s stress and pushing through when you’re exhausted might be praised as selflessness, but the body doesn’t necessarily experience it that way. When the pressure becomes chronic, it can have very real consequences for our health.

Medical doctor and women’s health advocate Dr Faye Bate explains that prolonged stress can affect several systems in the body. “The immune system can be affected, meaning more infections and longer recovery times. Sleep can become disrupted, while the body's fight-or-flight response can divert blood away from the gut, affecting digestion.”

Hormones can be affected, too, with chronic stress potentially contributing to irregular, missed or heavier periods, lower libido and worsening PMS or perimenopause symptoms. More seriously, chronic stress has been linked to an increased risk of heart attacks. “The cumulative strain of repeated or prolonged stress is known as allostatic load—the wear and tear on the body that builds up over time,” explains Bate's.

And the signs aren’t always physical. From a mental health perspective, Reading points to anxiety, emotional numbing, irritability, loneliness, and relationship difficulties as possible consequences of repeatedly denying our own needs. She also suggests watching for guilt around saying no, struggling to identify what you actually want, neglecting basic health needs and relying on coffee, sugar, alcohol or screens to get through the day.

Consider this a reality check: selflessness might be celebrated, but it isn't harmless when it comes at the expense of our health. I'm sure many of us can relate: I, for one, have a habit of treating my time, energy and wellbeing as though they're endlessly expendable. But saying no, setting boundaries and putting our own needs back on the agenda isn't selfish—it's self-preservation. And it's about time we started treating it that way.

The Small Acts of Selfishness That Could Make a Big Difference to Your Wellbeing

Welcome. The doors to the selfish club are officially open, and absolutely no one needs to apologise for walking through them. House rules: leave the guilt outside. Your needs are not an inconvenience, and 'no' is a complete sentence. I asked Reading for five simple ways to get started; no permission required.

3 Simple Ways to Be a Little More Selfish Every Day

1. Check in with yourself before checking in on everyone else

Before you launch into another day of sorting everyone else's lives out, take a moment to check in with yourself. Reading suggests a simple hand-on-heart ritual: place a hand on your chest, take a mindful sip of your morning coffee or a glass of water, and ask yourself: What's happening for me right now? What do I need? The idea is to get into the habit of recognising your needs whilst they're still a whisper, rather than waiting until they're practically shouting - through exhaustion, overwhelm or even illness. A small pause can be a good reminder that you're on your own to-do list, too.

2. Repeat after me. Rest is NOT a reward

A firm favourite of mine. You wouldn't expect your phone to run indefinitely without charging, so why do we expect the same of ourselves? Reading is a fan of restorative yoga's 'legs up the wall' pose, or her rather brilliant 'human burrito.' The latter involves lying on your bed, placing a pillow under your head and another beneath your knees, then wrapping yourself up in your duvet and letting yourself properly flop. Even five minutes can be enough. And if rest keeps getting bumped down your priority list? Reading's advice is simple: “Make an appointment with you.”

3. Make your comfort a priority

Feeling safe and comfortable matters, both for your nervous system and your emotional wellbeing. Sometimes that can be as simple as wearing clothes that let you breathe (because nobody needs a tight bra making an already stressful day worse). Reading also recommends a little self-soothing ritual she calls the 'face hug': rub your hands together to warm them, then gently cradle your face. Take a moment to notice how reassuring it feels to be held. As she puts it: “It is ok to pause and find a pace that respects your humanity.” Her mantra? “I give myself permission to feel.”

Let's Get Loud About Being Selfish

If there’s one thing I hope the woman on the other side of this article takes away from this, it’s that putting yourself first shouldn’t feel like an act of rebellion—and it certainly shouldn't come with a side order of guilt. Our time, energy and health aren’t bottomless resources, and being a good daughter, partner, friend, colleague, or mother shouldn’t mean running ourselves into the ground.

I’m not suggesting we stop caring about other people. I’m suggesting we extend ourselves the same consideration we hand out so freely. Say no. Ask for what you need. Take a rest. Change your mind. Let someone else pick up the slack. And please, stop apologising for having perfectly reasonable needs.

So here’s to being a little less accommodating, a little more boundary-setting, and considerably less bothered about being labelled selfish. Because if looking after yourself is selfish, I’d suggest we’ve been using the word wrong all along.

MC's Selfish Edit



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Thursday, 5 November 2026

Grey Blending Is Changing the Way We Colour Our Hair—Here’s Everything You Need to Know

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There comes a point in every woman’s life when colouring their hair becomes less about self-expression and experimentation and more about maintenance. It might start as a few strategically placed highlights or the occasional root touch-up, but gradually it becomes a standing appointment every four to six weeks, dictated almost entirely by the growth cycle of proliferating greys. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to cover them, the prospect of spending the rest of our years chasing regrowth isn’t particularly appealing.

Enter grey blending. A technique that’s been steadily gaining traction in salons as well as on social media, it offers a middle ground between committing to permanent colour and embracing a full head of grey, working with your natural greys to create a softer, more dimensional finish that grows out far more gracefully.

But is it really as low-maintenance as it sounds? Can it work if you’ve spent years dyeing your hair a completely different colour? And what should you ask your colourist for if they’re not a grey-blending expert?

What Is Grey Blending—and How Does It Work?

Unlike traditional permanent colour, which aims to conceal every grey hair, grey blending incorporates the silvery tones into the overall colour.

“Grey blending isn’t about going grey, and I think that’s where people get confused,” explains Amanda Magistro, founder of Salon ALM, who has women travelling across continents to sit in her colouring chair. “It’s about working with the greys you’ve got rather than trying to hide every single one. We use a combination of highlights, lowlights and sheer colour to soften everything and create a beautiful, seamless blend.”

For Kent-based grey-blending specialist Rosie Baylis, the appeal is that it offers an alternative to what has traditionally felt like a binary choice. “It gives you the choice that most women don’t realise they had: choosing between colouring their hair forever or going fully grey. There’s a beautiful ‘middle ground’ where the hair is still coloured, but in a much more natural, flattering and low-maintenance way.”

The precise technique depends on your existing colour and the distribution of your greys. “Fine highlights can introduce lighter pieces that soften the contrast between natural grey and pigmented hair,” explains hairstylist and Marie Claire Master Adam Reed. “Lowlights can bring depth back into areas where the hair has become predominantly silver or white.”

Glosses, toners and balayage can also be used to create a more cohesive finish. The objective isn’t necessarily to make hair lighter, but to soften the distinction between coloured hair and natural regrowth.

Why Can Grey Blending Be More Flattering Than Traditional Colour?

Interestingly, it’s not necessarily grey hair itself that creates an ageing effect, but the colour used to conceal it and the condition of the hair itself. “Often it’s the solid, harsh line of regrowth and brassy, unnatural-looking colour that looks more ageing than the greys themselves,” says Baylis. “Over the years, clients also get further and further away from their natural colour (most often becoming too blonde). By going back to it, they look and feel like themselves again, just a softer version.”

Reed agrees that the contrast created by permanent colour can sometimes be unflattering, particularly with darker shades. “Grey blending allows us to introduce subtle variations of tone and depth, which can soften that contrast and create more movement around the face.”

That said, the objective isn’t really just about looking younger. It’s about finding the perfect combination of tones that complements your natural colouring, rather than automatically reaching for the colour cocktail that hides every grey strand.

When Should You Start Grey Blending?

According to Reed, the distribution of your greys throughout your hair matters more than the total number. “You could have 10% grey and find that it’s concentrated very noticeably around your temples or parting,” he explains. “Equally, somebody with considerably more grey might have it distributed so evenly that it already creates a beautiful natural blend.”

However, Rosie suggests there may be practical advantages to starting before your hair becomes predominantly white. “To avoid as much damage to the hair as possible, the best time to start is when you’re more salt and pepper than fully white, as there’s less for the hair to process. It also makes the journey feel easier.”

For Magistro, the deciding factor is often how much time you’re spending maintaining your colour. “If you’re sick of chasing your regrowth every three weeks, that’s usually a pretty good sign. It’s less about your age and more about wanting beautiful hair without being a slave to your roots.”

Grey blending

(Image credit: Rosie Baylis)

How Do You Transition From Permanent Colour to Grey Blending?

If you’ve spent years colouring your hair, particularly with dark permanent dye, the transition requires patience. Trying to remove years of artificial pigment in one appointment could cause unnecessary hair damage.

“We might introduce very fine highlights to begin breaking up the darker colour, or selectively remove some of the existing artificial pigment before refining the tone,” explains Reed. “In other areas, we might actually need to add depth to create a more balanced result.”

According to Baylis, the process typically takes around three to six months, depending on how long you’ve been colouring your hair and how dark you’ve gone. “The key is to soften that line gradually, rather than trying to change everything at once, which can damage the hair and leave it looking brassy.”

A good colourist will gradually soften the line between your natural roots and coloured lengths, rather than attempting an immediate transformation. “Sometimes we can make a huge difference in one appointment, other times it’s a gradual process,” says Magistro. “The most important thing is keeping the hair looking beautiful along the way.”

Does Grey Blending Work on All Hair Colours and Textures?

Yes, although the technique needs to be adapted. On blonde hair, grey strands can already blend relatively seamlessly, while darker hair typically requires more considered placement to soften the contrast.

“I love creating sheer brunettes, creamy blondes and soft golden tones,” says Magistro. “It’s about choosing the right colour and placement to complement your natural hair, texture and skin tone.”

As Magistro says, texture plays an important role. “For coily and Afro-textured hair, I’d consider the natural shape, shrinkage, density and the way the hair is worn, whether that’s naturally, stretched or in protective styles,” adds Reed, who also emphasises the importance of assessing hair strength before introducing lightening treatments.

Grey Blending by Rosie Baylis

(Image credit: Rosie Baylis)

Is Grey Blending Really Lower-Maintenance?

Yes, considerably so. Because grey blending eliminates the stark line of regrowth associated with permanent colour, salon appointments can become less frequent. “Somebody who previously needed root coverage every four-to-six weeks might eventually be comfortable leaving eight-to-twelve weeks or longer between colour services,” says Reed.

However, lower-maintenance doesn’t mean maintenance-free. You may still need the occasional gloss and toner, especially as the proportion of natural grey increases. At home, conditioning treatments and heat protection are important, while purple shampoo can help neutralise unwanted yellow tones. Baylis recommends EVO Fabuloso Cool Brown colour-depositing conditioner for brunettes and K18 TripleBright for blonde and grey hair. She also advises using heat protection when styling, as excessive heat can contribute to yellowing.

Ultimately, grey blending isn’t about giving up on hair colour. It’s about finding a way to make it work with your hair, not against it. As Magistro puts it, “For me, the ultimate luxury is hair that looks just as beautiful growing out as it did the day you left the salon.” And isn’t that what we all want?



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Russell Brand and the Dangerous Double Standard of the ‘Nice Boy Defence’

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When questioning the first complainant in court, Russell Brand’s defence barrister said his 51-year-old client was a “young-looking boy” at the time of an alleged rape in 1999.

He then went on to suggest that there had therefore been “no power imbalance” between the comedian and the alleged victim, who says she was attacked by Brand during the Labour Party conference in Bournemouth. Brand denied the allegation and was subsequently acquitted of this charge. Today, a jury at Southwark Crown Court found him guilty of raping another woman in 2009 and of three counts of sexual assault. He was acquitted of two rape charges and one count of attempted indecent assault.

The ‘nice boy defence’

In 1999, Brand would’ve been 24—a man by definition and law. We see this a lot when men are accused of sexual wrongdoing. In fact, there’s even a name for it: the so-called ‘nice boy defence’. “It’s used quite widely in sex offence cases where the defence will try to portray the defendant as young, inexperienced, vulnerable, immature, respectable, sensitive—not the type to commit this sort of offence,” says Marcus Johnstone, managing director of PCD Solicitors.

Conversely, women are typically referred to as ‘girls’ in everyday conversation, but in situations like these, they are almost always described as ‘women’. “It suggests they are in control, they’re capable, they’re adults—and able to consent,” explains Dr Sophie Holmes-Elliott, senior lecturer in sociolinguistics at Queen Mary University. “[Defence lawyers] are trying to activate those membership category attributes in the minds of the jury.”

And so what this framing does is afford men the innocence, cheekiness and vulnerability associated with boyhood—irrespective of their actual age, alleged actions or whether a jury finds them guilty or not. Women, on the other hand, are apparently considered old enough to be in control of not just their own actions, but the actions of others, and are forced to absorb the guilt and shame of what happened to them as a result.

What’s particularly interesting to me about this gendered double standard is that a lot of the time, boys’ childhoods are cut short by their desire to fulfil masculine ideals, and yet suddenly, when they secure that status as adults and find themselves in trouble, they seem more than willing to be infantilised because it works to their advantage and diminishes the severity of their actions.

One of the most telling examples of this is the 2016 Brock Turner case, in which the now-convicted rapist was described as not just a “boy”, but also a “gifted swimmer”. This shifted the focus away from his crime and the shattering impact it had on his victim, Chanel Miller, and instead towards his “wasted potential”.

This sends a clear and dangerous message: that a perpetrator’s life is considered more valuable than the victim’s. Even when found guilty of such a heinous act, men are met with empathy, and the women are simply collateral damage. That Turner only served three months of a six-month sentence demonstrates yet again how rarely the punishment fits the crime, which adds yet another barrier for women and girls to come forward.

Johnstone all but confirms these defence strategies, explaining that lawyers use the delayed reporting of crimes to throw the claimant’s credibility into question, and they also make a point of repeating certain phrases throughout a trial so they stick in the jury’s mind.

One such tactic is the use of ‘the R word’—“not ‘rape’, but ‘regret’. “They’ll keep harping on about regret as the R word so they don’t mention rape,” says Johnstone. “If they have to, they’ll talk about ‘a sexual encounter’ because it minimises the alleged offence. The emphasis is on portraying that this is a woman who has regretted it—who consented to it, but the following day regretted what she’d done, and has reported it to save face, perhaps with the parents or a boyfriend who’s back home, etc.”

Research has shown that even small changes in language can influence whom people blame, how seriously they view the crime, and the sentences they consider appropriate.

Ciara Bergman — CEO, Rape Crisis

Regardless of whether a defendant is convicted or acquitted, the way in which we talk about rape and represent it in wider culture matters.

“It shapes the way we understand it, why it happens, who’s to blame when it does, and how we respond to disclosures,” explains Rape Crisis CEO Ciara Bergman.

“Research has shown that even small changes in language can influence whom people blame, how seriously they view the crime, and the sentences they consider appropriate. It also shows the devastating power of rape myths at trial: research involving more than 7,600 mock jurors showed that those who believed these myths were less likely to judge a defendant guilty,” she says.

It’s in part why, in 2025, former justice secretary David Lammy introduced major reforms to modernise criminal courts and speed up process times, as well as to ban the ‘serial liar’ defence and the presentation of ‘bad character’ evidence relating to a claimant’s sexual history in court.

Still, when rape conviction rates already sit at a dismal 53% in the UK and women and girls are deterred from speaking up because of lengthy waits and how their character may be called into question during the process, a lot more needs to be done to ensure victims of sexual crimes come forward—and feel supported when they do.

High-profile cases like Brand’s matter beyond the courtroom. While Brand was convicted of four offences and acquitted of three others, the wider questions raised by the language used throughout the proceedings remain.

This isn’t just about six women and a celebrity in isolation; this is about the cultural impact of perpetuating harmful rhetoric about women, men and the severity of sex offences. The language used to describe defendants and complainants doesn’t exist in a vacuum—it can reinforce the very stereotypes that shape how society understands sexual violence, credibility and consent. The right to a robust defence is fundamental, but so too is recognising the wider cultural consequences of the narratives we perpetuate.

As Bergman puts it: “Ending rape culture means stopping the trivialisation of rape full stop.” Words, in these instances, can be just as powerful—and harmful—as actions.



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I Thought Reducing My Screen Time Was Impossible—4 Months On, These 5 Habits Have Completely Changed How I Feel

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With the New Year on the horizon, I’ve been reflecting on the habits that have made the biggest difference to my health. Increasing my protein intake, starting regular therapy, and getting outside for some fresh air every day would all make the list. But, without doubt, the habit that’s had the biggest impact is reducing my screen time. It feels like a monumental achievement, particularly given how many digital detoxes I’ve failed to stick to over the years.

All of which is to say, I know just how hard it can be to break up with your phone. Research from Uswitch suggests that we spend an average of 4.8 hours a day looking at screens. And while more than a third of us want to cut back, our attempts to do so often fall flat, with boredom and fear of missing out among our biggest hurdles.

The reality is that our world is structured around screens. We rely on them to work, navigate, manage our money, keep up with the news and stay in touch with friends. From the latest Netflix series to the viral trend everyone’s talking about, being digitally connected is a form of social currency: something to discuss over dinner or on a first date.

That's why, this time around, I decided against attempting another full digital detox. My previous experiences had taught me that it simply isn’t sustainable. Instead, I focused on making small, manageable swaps to my usual habits, gradually reducing the amount of time I spent on my phone without compromising the moments where my phone genuinely enhances my life.

Four months in, I'm shocked by the difference it's made to my focus, attention span, energy levels and emotional resilience. Ahead, the five habits that have helped me curb my screen time, alongside expert insight into why they work.

For more wellbeing switches to take into 2027, have a read of the 7 high-stress habits to quit, the life admin that’s secretly draining you and how a 10-minute sunlight snack could be the thing to see you through the rest of the winter. Plus, this 60-second breathing trick to calm your nervous system is a must-add to a busy routine.

I Found Reducing My Screen Time Impossible—4 Months On, Here's What Worked

Why Is Reducing Our Screentime So Difficult?

I used to think that my failure to digitally detox was down to a lack of willpower. But as Hector Hughes, co-founder and CEO of Unplugged, reminds me, this is far from the case. “Social media apps have been designed by the best engineers and designers in the world to hold your attention and keep you scrolling,” he explains. “These apps tap into our brain’s reward centre by releasing dopamine—one of our ‘feel-good chemicals’ associated with pleasure, reward and motivation. Every swipe or click presents the potential for something new, and since our brains love novelty and unexpected rewards, this keeps us scrolling.”

Psychologist Dr Farideh Banafshei agrees. “Tackling screen time is a challenge for everyone, including therapists and psychologists,” she says. “It’s a systemic issue, not a personal failing.”

It’s reassuring to hear, but Dr Banafshei points out there’s a wider cultural issue beyond the addictiveness of the apps themselves. “Wellness and optimisation culture has convinced us that being well means feeling good all the time,” she explains. “Any uncomfortable feeling has become something to get rid of immediately, and the quickest exit we all carry in our pocket is our phone.”

What Are The Benefits of Reducing Screentime?

As Dr Banafshei alluded to, reducing screen time is one way of becoming more in touch with uncomfortable, yet important, emotions. In fact, one study found that just one week away from social media reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety by almost 25% and 16%, respectively. But that’s not the only benefit.

1. Improved sleep and energy

“When people reduce screen time, even slightly, they often notice a clearer head, better sleep and more stable energy levels,” says Hughes, who adds that it also gives you time back. “You might reach for your phone to check the weather but then get stuck in a scroll hole for 20 minutes without realising. Curbing screen time gives you more time within the day for things that really matter.”

2. Greater creativity

Then, of course, there are the benefits boredom has for creativity. “Boredom is good for us,” confirms Hughes. “It helps your brain rest properly and gives it the space it needs for original and creative thought.”

3. A revived attention span

We’re all familiar with the term brainrot, and it’s not just a buzzword. Research shows that our screens, and short-form content in particular, are having a real impact on our cognitive health. “The largest review to date found that heavier short-form video use is linked to poorer attention and weaker inhibitory control, which is our ability to pause and resist an impulse,” says Dr Banafshei.

The good news, though, is that our brains are neuroplastic and can be retrained. “One of the strongest studies to date found that blocking mobile internet for two weeks while keeping calls and texts improved sustained attention span by the equivalent of 10 years of age-related decline,” says Dr Banafshei, who adds that the participants' mental health improved too. “With the time they got back, people spent more time socialising face to face and being outdoors,” she explains.

The 5 Habits Which Finally Helped Me Curb My Screentime-And Made Doing So Feel Like a Treat Not a Chore

1. I took up photography

A woman taking a mirror selfie with a digital camera

A digital camera has curbed Ash’s screen time and built a new hobby at the same time (Image credit: Ashleigh Spiliopoulou)

One of the main reasons my phone remains so glued to my side is my love of taking photos. Beyond being chronically compelled to post on Instagram, I genuinely love the creativity of photography: zooming in on tiny details, capturing my friends in candid laughter or catching the light at just the right moment. One of my favourite things to do on a flight is scroll back through my camera roll, revisiting the thousands of photos that hold memories of some of my favourite moments.

It's why, at the beginning of the summer, I decided to detach my love of photography from my phone and start treating it as a genuine hobby. I'd recently tried out a friend's Fujifilm X100VI and fallen in love with the film-style images it captured.

Using it over the last four months has been an absolute joy, largely because it's challenged me to learn a new skill. Despite being relatively point-and-shoot, it's required me to get to grips with the basics of digital photography, from mastering the exposure triangle to programming in the correct recipes. It's felt a little like going back to school, and watching my photographs improve over the last four months has been incredibly rewarding.

I also love the lack of immediacy. The camera's small screen means I can't always tell whether every shot I've taken is perfect, which stops me getting quite so caught up in my own perfectionism. I point, shoot and put the camera away, returning to the present in a matter of moments. Unlike my phone, which can trap me in a flurry of 'urgent' notifications every time I take a photo, my camera allows me to capture my favourite moments without detracting from the magic of actually living them.

2. I started clocking screentime miles

This is an idea I stole and adapted from my friend and fellow journalist, Evie Olsen, who was herself inspired by the concept of Air Miles. While Olsen has built her own reward system around 'running miles', I've applied mine to screen time.

It works like this: for every dedicated hour I spend away from my screen, I pay myself £1, which goes into a pot in my bank account labelled 'Screentime rewards'. I track my time using Brick, a screen time management device that blocks apps and tells me how long I've spent away from my screen. At the end of each day, I transfer my rewards into the pot. Over time, they build up into a little fund that I can spend on any analogue treat I fancy, whether that's a coffee from my favourite café or a new book I've been desperate to read.

Over the last four months, my rewards pot has grown to more than £200, funding plenty of little treats that have consistently brightened my weeks.

3. I created reading hours

Confession: I'm a bookworm. And while I know that's not true for everyone, I firmly believe there's a genre out there for everyone, whether you prefer crime fiction, a romcom or an autobiography. In spite of my love of books, however, my reading time has declined rapidly over the last few years, gradually replaced by hours of scrolling.

For me, it's largely come down to energy. At the end of a busy day, I often feel as though I haven't got the concentration left for a book, whereas mindless scrolling feels much more manageable. The irony, of course, is that while scrolling leaves me feeling more exhausted, reading actually gives me energy, particularly creative energy.

That's why I've started carving out dedicated reading hours in my diary. It removes any guilt that I should be doing something more productive and helps me stay consistent. I've found that once I'm immersed in a book, picking it up again becomes much easier, while having reading hours built into my routine ensures I always have something on the go.

For me, mornings and evenings work best, but I also squeeze in a 30-minute window after lunch. It's a great way to avoid the 3 pm work slump, re-energising me creatively for the final few hours of the day.

4. I took up silent walks

A woman smiling at the camera with her eyes closed on the beach

While away in Denmark, Ash took her silent walks to the beach, where she was soundtracked by the waves. (Image credit: Ashleigh Spiliopoulou)

Before I start, I know this one might be divisive. When I tell friends that I walk without headphones, many look at me in amazement. But hear me out. While I love a podcast or a pumping playlist as much as the next person, I realised that the constant stimulation in my ears was contributing to the constant noise in my brain. I was so plugged in that not only was it becoming difficult to hear my own thoughts, but I also felt increasingly restless and unsettled in silence.

So, over the summer, I started going on silent walks. If you can, I'd recommend doing this somewhere away from busy roads. Forests and rivers are particularly lovely, as you get the soundtrack of the natural world instead.

These walks have become some of my favourite moments of the day. They're when I process the things I'm worried about, work through problems and often find myself becoming more creative. If I'm experiencing writer's block or trying to make a start on a new project, I know that a silent walk can help get things moving.

5. I introduced the morning papers

A wall of magazines

In Seoul, Ash stumbled across a shop dedicated to world magazines. Naturally, she stocked up for her morning paper rotation. (Image credit: Ashleigh Spiliopoulou)

We all know that reaching for our phones as soon as we wake up isn't necessarily the best start to the day. But I really love the ritual of checking the news in the morning. It helps me feel informed and connected to the world around me, and it's a lovely accompaniment to my morning coffee—a habit I have absolutely no intention of giving up.

That's why I've gone old-school and started buying a physical newspaper or magazine to read first thing. Often, I'll combine this with my silent walking habit by strolling to my local newsagent to pick up a paper. If I'm really getting into the habit-stacking spirit, I'll pop my Bala Bangles around my ankles to add a little resistance into the mix.

Together, it's become a lovely morning ritual that combines sunlight, movement, a little strength training and some cognitive stimulation—all before I've even looked at my phone.

The verdict:

I'm not suggesting you need to copy every analogue habit I've mentioned here. These are simply the things that work for me and my schedule. But what I have learnt is that you don't need a week-long digital detox to reap the benefits of reducing your screen time.

I still have Instagram and TikTok, still work on my laptop for up to six hours a day and haven't given up my Spotify subscription. In other words, I've not had to compromise on any of the benefits of my digital life, yet I feel healthier, happier and more emotionally resilient.

I've found that being consciously online and consciously offline is what really makes the difference. When I'm scrolling, I'm doing so intentionally, and when I'm not, I'm not. That gives my brain the time it needs to rest and recharge, leaving me clearer-headed, better able to focus and problem-solve, and less likely to feel stressed or low as a result of what I see on social media.

Ultimately, it keeps me rooted in reality, and I'm a better person for it. I wholeheartedly recommend giving it a try.

Ready To Cut Down Your Screen Time? Shop MC UK’s Analogue Essentials



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